I knew from church that abortion was a sin, but this was my marking — I was marked in my early teen years when my aunt showed me a recording of a real-life abortion. The abortion was captured by possibly an ultrasound, but I am not even entirely sure or remember how. While the doctor was entering with the suctions to rip off the body parts and pull them out, I could see the baby squirming trying to hide reaching as far back into the womb as possible. But the baby had no defense. Nowhere to hide. No one to come to his/her rescue. I cried and I cried and yelped the day I saw that video! I let out a loud cry! I was inconsolable! My aunt felt so bad and apologized over and over saying she didn’t know I would react that way.
The Lord is so good in His mercy, so what the enemy intends for evil, God turns it around for good. What I know now is that the Lord had marked me for such a time as this. My heart was marked to fight for life! I remember I had also watched the movie, ‘Selena,’ as a young girl causing me to run to my room and cry with a loud cry at the scene of her murder. Again, on 9/11 I watched the breaking news live where buildings were up in smoke and people were jumping out of them, and when I was by myself I cried out to the Lord against this egregious act of terrorism. It was painful, and in my ignorance all I could do was ask God why???
The night I cried out to the Lord while contemplating to murder my child the Lord answered me. He gave me a sign the very next day! My daughter’s dad was about to leave state the next morning, and I was visiting to say goodbye. It was not for work or anything good for that matter. (Yes, this part was twisted. I was involved in a toxic relationship and on both ends we were jacked up individuals.) Police in unmarked cars surrounded the home we were in that morning, they were led into the home and arrested my daughter’s dad on a warrant.
I made the call to his mother when all was said and done, and let her know he was being taken into custody. This ended up being a double whopping news blast on her. After letting her know her son was arrested, I proceeded with: “I don’t know what I’m going to do about the baby!” She took a quick moment to say, “What baby?” The thing is that I was under the impression that both of his parents knew and that we would be supported no matter what decision we made! It turned out they had no idea, and I had been played. Their response is what I knew to be God answering me from the night before. My daughter’s parents were strangers to me at this point. I didn’t know them. They didn’t know me. Here were these individuals whom I had not yet even met, lived in another state, but had locked arms to fight for this baby! They assured me that if I decided to keep the baby, and if I would get kicked out that I would have a place to go to with them. They said that if I decided to go through with the abortion, they would have no part, and I would definitely not count with their support.
to be continued…